The Nymph. (Another Tinder Confession)

In this story I’m quite candid with the events that occurred (of course not disclosing everything), however If you’re not a fan of sexual details then you might want to read elsewhere…

It’s Tuesday afternoon. I’m relaxing in front of the couch, watching some TV, after a hard days work at Uni. Then, my phone starts vibrating. Decided to check it to see what’s up, to check who’s buzzing me during my time of chill… “New Tinder Match”. I’m on here!! Decided to read her bio to give me some insight in to what my opening line could be! I hit her up with my chocolate line to break the ice (It’s quite a good one, so i won’t share it this time round), and the conversation starts to flow. We start talking about our day and what we’re doing, She tells me she’s going to the beach. I tell her I have footy training. Conversation is full steam ahead as now we’re snapping each other. She then asks me if I’d like to go to City Beach to hang out with her after my footy training (We’d only been conversing for 3 hours by this stage, mind you). I replied with “Hmm nah, how about you drive to North Beach, that’s a much better idea.” To which she (we’ll call her Nim!), so to which Nim then replies with “City Beach sounds so much better to be honest.” In my mind I couldn’t be bothered driving so I suggested that we just hang out another time. We continue snapchatting and manage to organise a day for us to go out. We arrange it for Thursday.

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Thursday comes around, I finish training and get ready to go pick Nim up from her house. Managed to get lost while trying to get there. Had to go down some weird side streets and alleys, however I made it there in the end (On time mind you!! Ain’t got time for lateness!). She gets in my car and off we go. Now I hadn’t eaten yet and I was hoping Nim hadn’t either (To my delight, she hadn’t), so food was on the agenda! As we’re on our way to get some food, I decide to ask her a few questions to get to know her better. Now I didn’t want to ask the boring stuff, wanted to keep this entertaining. So I asked Nim, “Tell me something embarrassing about yourself that you wouldn’t normally tell anyone”. Nim replies with “I don’t know!?”, 5 seconds later she says “Oh wait, I’ve got something… So a while ago I went to Bali with my then boyfriend and some other friends to celebrate my birthday. The night was awesome drinks were flowing and at the end of the night my then boyfriend and I decide to head back to the hotel. We get inside and I start vomiting. I run to the toilet and I just couldn’t stop. All of a sudden I start to shit all over the place. So I’m there head in the bowl vomiting and shitting at the same time.” Nim was laughing as she was telling me this story, I on the other hand was kind of thrown off by this. Well not kind of, I was (Ewwwwwwwwwwwww!). I didn’t ask for a gross story, I mean you could have stopped it at vomiting everywhere, I would have paid that, however NO, you had to go in to more detail! Anyway I ‘laughed’ to please her story while telling her that it grossed me out. Props to her then boyfriend of 3 months for cleaning that up for her and dated her for 4 years after that. You’re the real MVP here!

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So we’re getting some food and unfortunately it was late, so we had to settle for McDonalds (Don’t worry your boy paid for the meals, cashed in my latest pay cheque so I was balling!). Decided to drive down the coast, find a parking spot on the beach so we could socialise while eating our food. We find a place, start talking. Nim starts laughing and tells me that she hasn’t laughed like that in ages. I’m gladthat she is enjoying herself. We decide to get out of the car and walk to the shore (What a terrible idea that was! It was cold, windy and I ended up with 10 mosquito bites by the time we got back into the car).

So we’re on the beach, under the stars (how romantic I know, didn’t even plan it), socialising some more, getting to know each other. I again decide to spruce things up. “Have you ever played odds?” I asked. Nim hadn’t so I proceeded to tell her the rules of the game, she liked it so we decided to give it a go. Nim then asks me “What are the odds of you kissing me by the end of the night?”. I was thinking, I’m on here! However I didn’t reply, I answered her question with another question. “Before I tell you, what are the odds of you…”. Yes I did want to kiss her but I didn’t want to tell her just yet. We dusted the sand off our asses and we’re in my car driving around again. I spent a quarter of a tank of fuel driving round the beach and the neighbouring suburbs that night. The time had just hit 10:30 pm , I could see her yawning. Nim told me that she’s usually in bed by 10 because she gets up at 5 am every morning to go to the gym. I was like, that’s fair, so I drove her home.

We get back to her house, she thanks me for the night and starts to exit. I was like “What!? You’re just going to leave like that?” Nim closes the door, sits back in the car and we continued talking. Somehow the conversation turns to me and how or why I haven’t kissed her yet. So I proceeded to tell her why I hadn’t, to which she replied “That turned me on, why’d you have to say that?” Now I’m thinking wow this conversation is escalating very quickly, which it was because now the conversation had turned sexual. Nim starts telling me about her sex life and I start telling her about mine. She then proceeds to tell me that she’s a nymphomaniac…

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Telling me how she is horny every day, how much she watches porn and pleases herself. Nim then tells me that she doesn’t normally talk to guys about her sex life, she only talks to her girl friends about it, however she felt comfortable around me. By now you can tell how much the conversation has heated up, straight fire at the moment. Nim then asks me how many people I have slept with. Now I don’t like disclosing numbers and these type of questions, mainly due to the fact that it never ends well when you’re dating someone because half the time one person is always worried about the other persons ‘stats’, and after disclosing the figures they may not look at that person the same way again. However I ended up telling her because I’m an honest guy, and she told me hers which was staggering. Absolutely staggering! However with her being a nymphomaniac it’s hardly surprising. I don’t want to disclose any numbers here, however lets say you’d need over 8 hands to count them! I mean the more comfortable we are when it comes to talking about sex, the less stigma we’d have associated with it! Anyway, Nim then say’s she’d really like to see and feel it however she doesn’t have sex on the first date. She tells me how she’s had one night stands and they’d have to wait until the morning before they would receive some action. Now that is fine by me, I don’t mind that at all however the timing of it is slightly inconvenient considering how turned on we both were. She then tells me how she does certain things during oral to make it more enjoyable for the guy. Now I’m thinking considering what you just said why are we continuing down this sexual path still? Why not lighten the mood now and change subjects, however we just fell deeper into our sexuality.

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One thing led to another and now we’re kissing in the front seat of my car. Windows fog up, kissing intensifies and now I’m kissing her mandible making my way down her neck. Start kissing her breasts. Her breathing intensifies. She then tells me how perfect her breasts are, and how they are evenly balanced. To which I tell her that very few women are symmetrical when it comes to their upper body, that most likely one would be bigger than the other and how one ear usually hangs lower than the other and somehow the conversation went from sexual to symmetrical. However shortly after, we continued in our steamy session. My hand goes down and it’s full steam ahead, until she pulls my hand away and says this is not a good idea because, 1). She ‘apparently’ is very loud in bed and 2). For the reasons she said earlier about how she doesn’t have sex on the first date, which was completely diluted in the heat of the moment. I told her that we didn’t have to engage in a session, to which Nim replied, “Trust me, If I let you continue we’d be in your back seat”. Nim tried some of her oral techniques on me, which I liked at first however it quickly didn’t appeal to me! So we stopped, she leaves and walks to her house. I didn’t mind the end result, the night seemed to have gone well (sexual activity aside), we had a good time and conversed a lot, so I was confident we’d see each other again. Unfortunately… weeks had passed and there was no sign of another date or us hanging out again. Whether that was for the best or not, only time will tell. However I think I need to give Tinder a rest…

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