Okay I’m going to be honest. I was a hopeless romantic… and I have been for most of my life. When I was younger I ‘fell’ for people to easily and to quickly which resulted in me getting hurt quite a lot because of the constant rejection. I wrote poems for the girls I liked. When Valentine’s day came around, I bought my crush flowers. I asked quite a lot of people to go out with me with limited ‘yeses’. When I’d get a no, I would move on to the next person. Some of the girls that I asked were even friends with each other. That’s how bad I was. Most people usually search for relationships that you see on TV or in films like Forgetting Sarah Marshall, When Harry Met Sally, Titanic, Dear John, About Time!!! Now that is beautiful movie! Without a doubt one of my favourite movies that I have seen to date. I was a bit teary during that film. Simply a masterpiece. Romance and Romantic Comedies are the best genres you could possibly watch in my opinion. Always filling you with hope, happiness, laughter and love. Growing up, that was what I was searching for, and I guess I still am. But let’s go back to the start, where it all began!
It all began in year 1. I remember my first crush in primary school. It was with a girl named Paige, who was also one of my friends. I liked her however I never told her so she didn’t know my feelings for her. I remember how she looked. Crystal green/blue eyes that changed with her mood. She had the cutest button nose. Freckles that covered her cheeks, and brunette hair that in the sun would seem like they had a tinge of orange. Paige was a really kind-hearted girl. Luckily for me, throughout the years, my mum started to become good friends with hers, so whenever mum had to work, I’d go over to Paige’s house for a playdate. I remember the times that we shared at her house so vividly. She had a pool, which we hardly swam in. She had Hi-5 seats which we’d always sit in and socialise (Gosh that was the show back in the day!), a cubbyhouse which we’d always play in. We just enjoyed ourselves and each other’s company. At that age, I had never even heard of girlfriends and I still believed in Cooties. “Ewwwww, you don’t want to kiss a girl and get cooties”. “Yuck!”. So I never acted on it, we just stayed friends, and over time we became more distant as we started hanging out with different people. However that was my first crush!
Half way through year 2 a new girl joined my class. Her name was Jamie and boy was she cute! We became friends in no-time. She liked me and I liked her. We’d always go around to each other’s houses for playdates, and have the best time. She was chocolate skinned, usually wore her hair with pigtails (at least I think that’s what you call it when you have two tails one on either side of your head…), cutest smile. She was extremely bubbly. Unfortunately our little blossoming friendship and romance was short-lived as she moved shortly after she arrived and we didn’t stay in contact after that.
Year 3/4, brought my next crush. By the way these aren’t girlfriends of mine they are just people I had a crush on in primary school, because as I said earlier, I didn’t even know what a girlfriend was back then, let alone how to get one! Anyway, from the moment she walked into the class I was taken away. She was tall, taller than me (which wasn’t hard cause I was 4ft or so). Brunette hair, gorgeous light-green eyes. Her family were South African so her and my mum became friends quickly, and soon enough we were having playdates at each other’s houses. We’d always play mousetrap, I’d be chivalrous and lose just so I could see her smile when she won. She had the cutest laugh too. Unfortunately, Morgan left the school later that year.
From year 4 we’d have 4 weeks where we’d receive dance lessons so we could boogie at our school disco. The dance genres would vary between hip-hop to tango or even salsa. Whenever we had a school dance, my partner would always be a girl called Brittney. She and I absolutely shredded the competition, we basically heated up the dance floor because our moves were that hot! I had a really big crush on her, because not only did I find her to be really pretty, however she was a really good dancer and I found that to be extremely attractive. She was also very sweet which added to the mix. Unfortunately, she moved as well, no idea where, however, once year 6 came around I didn’t see her again (This is becoming a trend. As soon as I get close to someone they just leave. Story of my life!).
Year 7 saw my final crush in primary school, on a girl named Brooklyn. I fell for her hard, especially after year 7 camp. I was more in tune with my emotions and I actually knew what a girlfriend was at this stage. There was something about her that I was drawn to, and it was more than her dazzling looks. I couldn’t stop smiling and looking at her on the bus rides to and from our year 7 camp. I was infatuated. My crush on her was made quite public, as I didn’t hide it. I didn’t want to. I managed to save a really good photo, which captured her beauty, and that smile that she’d always try to hide. I asked her on a date to which she said yes. I devised a plan. I usually had tennis afterschool, however on this occasion I didn’t. So I lied to my mum by telling her I was going to tennis (had all my gear with me, pretty convincing hay!) when in fact I was going to meet Brooklyn and her friend Allanah at the Tennis courts and then we’d walk to KFC.
Pretty romantic I know! Don’t blame me I was 12 and on a budget. So the day came, we say each other in class that day and once the final siren sounded, I made my way to the tennis courts and waited patiently for Brooklyn and Allanah to arrive. Only to receive a text message from Allanah 30 minutes after I was to go on my date with Brooklyn, that they had to cancel because some plans came up. I was cut of course, called mum to pick me up at 4.30pm which was when tennis would have ended (if it was on) and I went home disappointed and upset. I was upset after that and decided that she wasn’t worth my time.
Now High School really explains what a hopeless romantic I was and still am. Year 8 was definitely the year that I’m not proud of, in terms of having crushes. My first crush of year 8 was with a girl who didn’t like me back. Which in turn became the story of my High School life. Always picking the ones that don’t want to pick me. Her name was Kate. I liked her so much that I wrote her a poem and somehow mustered up the confidence to give it to her. She appreciated the gesture, however unfortunately the love wasn’t reciprocated. The poem was called Mystery Crush.
I like the way you always smile
With braces, it’s worth all the while
You have brown eyes & gorgeous looks
You’re always there when I’m reading books
I like the way you walk the walk
And the way you talk the talk
I like the way you comb your hair
I cannot resist, I have to stare
You look so good, you smell like roses
You are my Queen and I’m your Moses
I like the way you shine
I hope one day you’ll be mine
That was 13 year old me, so cut me some slack before you think the poem was cheesy. I was quite proud of my efforts. What was even worse, was throughout High School I went through a phase where I had a crush on Kate and because she didn’t like me, I moved on and started having crushes on the next girl in the friends group, until I went through 8 rejections and called it quits. Obviously, either none of those girls actually wanted me as their boyfriend, or they just didn’t want to be my boyfriend because I asked their friends first. Kind of desperate if you think about it. Looking back on it, I’m not sure I actually had crushes on them, maybe I just liked the thought of having a girlfriend and wanted one badly! Either way safe to say that’s behind me! That’s just a glimpse of my hopelessness when it comes to my romantic life, and that’s going to lead in to my next blog about commitment.
Thanks for taking the time out of your day/night to read my blog. Hope you enjoyed the read, and I hope you enjoy the rest of your day/night. Much Love!