Why Lead Me On?

Another story that started from tinder.

I met this gal named Charlotte on tinder. Beautiful lady. Dark skinned, brown hair, a bit taller than me. A published model, so she was very neat. She resembled Rihanna. I kid you not, she looked like a twin. We matched on a Sunday morning, and started conversing. Things were progressing smoothly. As she was only going to be in town until Wednesday (she was flying out to Bali), she suggested that we hit the town that night. I was quite sceptical about the whole ordeal, as I thought I was being cat-fished. So I did some investigative work, just to make sure, before I accepted any plans.

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I drove to Charlotte’s apartment at around 9pm and it seemed to be in the middle of no-where. It was dark, I had somewhat of an idea as to where I was going on this 25 minute journey. Commitment!! When I arrived I parked outside and waited, as I had no idea if I was in the right place. She walked out from… I don’t even know where! She just appeared, and I was glad to see it was a female that appeared that resembled the photos (YES! I’m not being cat-fished!). Charlotte was wearing a bright red dress which sparkled in the moonlight, hard to miss her really. She also wore a septum. Do you wear septum piercings? or do you just say she had a septum? Anyway what a drag right!!! I’m not a fan of septum piercings to be honest, not my kind of thing and they remind me of bulls! So I don’t know why they are so popular!! Anyway Charlotte gets in to my car and we drive to the city to grab something to eat and drink. I forgot the name of the place she directed us to, however it was a hidden pizza bar in the city, which I’m not going to lie looked amazing. I’ll definitely be going there again. It was a small bar with a few tables and chairs scattered round the room. Luckily it wasn’t too busy so we found seats easily and enjoyed the vibe.

Dinner is going well, we’re laughing, smiling, sending and receiving signals. These signals aren’t mixed, it’s clear. We both dig each other! She’s a weird character but that’s what I found attractive. I like it when someone’s unique, random and/or a little weird. Not just because I am, but because uniqueness intrigues me.

It’s now 12pm and the bar starts to close, so I pay and we head out. As we’re walking she tells me I seem really familiar, as if she had met me before. Charlotte then asks “Did I buy a marketing book off you at Curtin last year?”

I was like “Oh SNAP!!!!! No way that was you, what a small world.” Seriously small world though. I sold this gal a marketing textbook a year ago and here we are on a date together! Kinda of reminded me of that scene in Wedding Crashers with Isla Fisher…

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We get back to my car, and I ask her if she wants to do something else or go home. Due to everywhere being closed on a Sunday night our options were limited. Charlotte then suggests the beach, so that’s where we went. 20 minutes later we get there and sit outside on a bench overlooking the waves crashing on the shore (Romantic I know) and then socialise some more. It’s now 3am. What a night of conversing and driving, however I wanted to get some shut eye, as did Char, so I suggest we go home (Well I drop her at her apartment and I go home). We get back to hers, give her a kiss goodnight and then we part ways.

We continue conversing on social media for the next week. Charlotte then tells me about her lifestyle and how its hard for her to maintain relationships because she is constantly travelling due to her work. Sometimes she’d be away for a month, 2 months or even 3. I then suggest why don’t you just have a fling with someone then if you cant do relationships but still want to see people? We continue with the conversation for a bit and then leave it at that.

Anyway during the weeks that followed, I’d been asking her out on other dates, however she’d tell me she’d be busy with something. “sorry I’ve got a shoot, might come after”. “sorry, you didn’t make plans quick enough, I’m going for drinks with the gals.” “I’ll be out all weekend so I won’t have much time, we might be able to do something Sunday.” This went on for two weeks. I decided I’d message her for some clarification.

“Out of curiosity Charlotte. What are you looking/hoping for in terms of guys/me if you are looking/hoping for anything at all?”

To which she replies “… you do realise you eliminated everything when you told me “you can just have flings” Didn’t like that at all.”

I then respond “Then why didn’t you be straight up with me earlier, instead of waiting for me to ask?”

Charlotte then replies “You basically placed your position out there. I’m not down for a fling or fucking around. Yes I’m always away, most can’t even wrap their heads around the concept of long distance. So by you stating that I should only be having flings.. already told me where you’re at”

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I wanted to go off. I was losing my cool. Honestly what she wrote was a total load of bullocks. I did not say that I was looking for a fling. You were complaining about how hard it is for you to maintain relationships because of your lifestyle and I made a suggestion. Obviously she took what I said out of context and made up her own scenario. What I found even worse is that it felt like she had lead me on. She’d say yeah lets meet up and then say, sorry can’t.This went on for weeks. The fact that she already made a decision based on my SUGGESTION!!!! And not even bothered to let me know that she wasn’t interested really pissed me off. Mainly because if I didn’t ask her about it, I’d still be trying to go on another date with her to this day, without knowing why it’s never going to happen. I don’t like people who aren’t straight with me and I don’t like people who lead me on and that’s exactly what it felt like for me. I snapped and I really wanted to express every single thought and type every word that was coming out of my mouth.

So instead I decided to stay calm and type calmly. Basically, saying why didn’t you tell me this ages ago instead of waiting for me to ask you why and how it wasn’t cool. Then I said goodbye.

To be honest I should have said goodbye after the first two times she said she was “busy” but I never learn and I probably never will. Old habits are hard to break, but I’m not going to stop trying. Every new experience is a new learning curve and you can never stop learning in life.

Thanks for taking the time to read. Maybe this story is somewhat relatable to your past or present, or similar in a dissimilar way if that makes any sense :’). Enjoy your day!!!!

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